The last second chance

Dance Dance Dance, Haruki Murakami

I am not trying to be some voracious reader here who quotes profound passages by famous authors every now and then; to tell you honestly, I haven’t had enough Murakami to completely comprehend him. I have read Dance Dance Dance (on e-book! Goodness!) and Kafka on the Shore but I am not sure I fully understood them. Norwegian Wood is currently on my ever-growing book backlog and from what I’ve seen on its movie adaptation I’m not so certain whether I’d get what it’s trying to say or… I just think the quote best describes this ‘mid-year crisis’ (or, well, quarter-life crisis?) I’ve been embroiled in of late.

So I tried to enroll this school year. While spending the after-shift hours going to the university and dealing with its inconsiderate officials, of course I was looking forward to being a working student again, finishing my degree, and meeting awesome people who write, but at the same time (in the usual MG fashion: changing decisions 24 hours a day, 7 days a week), I was also thinking if getting the diploma still mattered to me or what. I ended up giving up anyway and due to this failed attempt to go back to school, the chance of working part-time in the company had flown out of my grasp along with the hopes of cutting the daily bullshit by half. I was devastated.

Faced with the reality of working full-time forever, it dawned on me that I’ve been doing it for the past twelve months and at this point everything seems so pointless.

You see, I get restless when it occurs to me that what I’m doing leads me nowhere, thanks to the quotes I’ve been reading all over the intarnets on a daily basis stating (in a thousand different ways) that you should put an end to whatever it is that makes you unhappy in suspended animation. But what can a poor girl do? When I feel that I’m wasting my life slaving in an industry I know I’m not meant to be in, an office friend’s words ring in my head

“Hindi ko iniisip na nagsasayang ako ng panahon dahil nagtatrabaho naman ako at hindi tumatambay lang.”

That friend, who shall be called JK (not Rowling), is still with the company and has just enrolled for this semester, again.

The talk with my immediate superior led me to file a two-week leave of absence which I dubbed as “prolonging the agony” because he had hinted that he doesn’t want me to just leave for good. Somewhere in between the filing and the approval of the LOA, I changed my mind and figured that it’d be a waste of time if I already knew what my decision would be.

All things considered, I think I can still keep the job, up to a point. I’d be giving this another shot—a second chance… the last second chance.

The 31-day Writing Challenge Day 4: Favorite quote and why you love it

Advertisements

About MG

Black against white.
This entry was posted in Emosentishit, Family and friends, Open secrets, Prompts, Workplace woes, Write stuff and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The last second chance

  1. carlos ignacio ay nagsasabing:

    very well said. 🙂 come on MG. join my ranks here in eastwood. its very near to you. all of the goods is in here.

  2. Thirdy ay nagsasabing:

    You have to go back to school, MG. Not because you need more of the school stuff but because you need it to equip you ‘academically’ into the future. Do it while you’re still young, while you still have the aura of a young woman ready to take on the world. Do it now! 🙂

Hey, say something:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Baguhin )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Baguhin )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Baguhin )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Baguhin )

Connecting to %s